I'm no superman...

Have you ever wished that you could read ones’ mind? Wanted to know everything that is curious to you? It certainly does sounds great aint it? Being able to prepare for any questions, predict what to say next just to get on the good side of everyone you wanted. Life would be so easy then, when you can talk yourself out from almost anything.
That is if , you wanted to know. What about those things that you don’t wanna hear? Things that you don’t wanna know? Knowledge is power! However, can you really take it all inside your tiny little mind? Reality bites, truth hurts and etc... those sayings are already common enough for anyone to understand.
Its a gift, its a curse... for being there... for hearing things and for knowing things. Its not truly easy bearing the responsibility of listening. Sometimes you know too much... yet you are only entrusted to hold on to it, and nothing else. That would be easy for a diary, a dead being.
Being on the outside, the sidelines... no one has a clearer picture that anyone inside the game. While there are many rules, experiences that can only be felt in it, no one would have been able to make a fair judgement. After all, we are all human and emotions would play a big part in killing us all.
Advice, are a form of assurance and nothing else. They are just plain speeches that deep down inside everyone of us know and yet we ignore them. We usually only listen to advices that sounds comfortable to us and most likely... its what you wanted to hear all along. Assurance from someone else’s mouth that your decision is correct. We will be constantly seeking for advice, till someone agrees with us.
While you can tell a kid what to do, define whats’ right or wrong, you can never do that to an adult. Sometimes it really hurts so much, to see someone you care stepping into deep shits and yet there’s nothing you can do about it. Its not like they don’t know what’s bad... they are old enough to make their own decisions... and this hurts alot when they hurt themselves... knowingly, intentionally or couldn’t get their heads right anymore...
What if you knew too... if something isn’t right and you know you could do something about it... but because you are just not... the person... to speak it out... Who are we to mess with someone else’s affairs? I just hate being so... defenceless...
If that’s what you want... then so be it... All we could do is to be always around... and with open arms to catch you when you fall... Which is something... I wish not to see come to reality... for it will mean that people will get hurt... and let it not be you...

Patience

Just have a little, patience

I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop
Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don’t be too hard on my emotions

Cause I, need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend

I'll try to be strong, believe me
I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me

Cause I, need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience, yeah
Have a little patience, yeah

Cause these scars runs so deep
It’s been hard
But I have to believe in me

Have a little patience
Have a little patience

Cause I, I just need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try, and have a little patience
Have a little patience

My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little... Patience

Crush . Lucky . Patience

Is it time to give up & let go?

Will

Life is great! but life is short... Too short as compared to an eternity outside of life.

I had a recent scare in my family. One of my members was actually diagnosed with er... well something but thank God... it was just a scare after all. It is in times like these when we really start to wake up and smell the coffee.

A.P.P.R.E.C.I.A.T.E!

Appreciate everyone around you, your family, your relatives, your loved ones. I remembered when I always say that I am not appreciated and bla bla bla... But now I know too, that I have been neglecting my family a little... or alot...

They're my family, always there, never given up hope on me. Probably, because they are always there, we or... I never paid too much attention to things at home, because they were always there. I'm sorry, I lost my way... I lost the person that I once promised to be and I'm picking up the trail once again.

It is a little tricky though... How could you miss something that's always around you? Still, it isn't an excuse to forget... or be ignorant. And so I learnt... I think happiness is always around us, just that we fail to see it as happiness. You have someone nagging you, reminding you daily of your things, asking you for insane favours and waking you up at ridiculous early hours on the weekends... Though it all sounds so... simple, routine and damn annoying... what if, just what if it were all taken away?

We thrive for excitement, new adventures, bla bla bla, yada yada yada... but is that what you really want by days end? For me at least, I want a home to return to, a familiar face I can talk to, whine to, laugh with, cry with and share whatever piece of myself I can with the ones really care about. Most of all, I want to be someone dependable to my family & friends.

What am I swaying to right now...

I guess what I am saying is...

I'm sorry grandpa, my biggest regret was for not knowing you well enough before you moved on.. and I love you too...
I love you grandma, for giving me the best childhood memories... Its time for me to repay you now that I'm all grown up.
I love you Dad, though I always disagree with you...
I love you Mom, though I seemed to be always drifting away...
I love you Sis 1, for your honest tales & lesson and being my "half nagging mom"...
I love you Sis 2, though we fought through our childhood...
I love you bro, though you really annoy me sometimes but as the saying goes... " he ain't heavy, he's my brother"

All my bro-in-arms, my bff's, my friends, Thanks for the memories...

lastly...

Dear,

After the scare of the week... it reminded me of many things, of how fragile are our lives. Yes, we plan and aim for great things... and yet we limit ourselves to a lot of things. I certainly wouldn't think of how important is my insurance policy until now and certainly not think that shit does happen to anyone without warning. Life sucks ain't it? When it comes to things like this! but looking at the bright side... it is at times like this we are honestly reminded of whats important in our lives. I might not know what's gonna happen next... and when shit does really happen to me... So while I'm still alive, kicking, before I really *poof!* out of sight for good...

I love you... always have, and always will... for as long as I am around...

I can be mean...

Just because someone seemed to be behaving a certain way all the time, doesn't really mean he won't be the otherwise...

Beware... I bite...

HARD.