Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Love is blind but not stupid...
Love is blind but not stupid... Someone recently told me this and it does ring a bell or two. I couldn't have agreed more with her. Then again, if love is blind... I am clearly stupid.
How does one weigh love and affection? Full commitment to oneself? Or how do you want to be loved? We yearn for any understanding partner but yet are we understanding at our end? Love isn't just about giving your all to a person. It involves great sacrifices, tolerance, patience and above all your unconditional care. I guess that is how you derive the "love is blind" statement. Loves becomes stupid when you hurt yourself too much. Or when you start to calculate too much or too little that he/she did then something is definitely wrong... So deal with it.
When a relationship ends, it usually leads to some sort of frustration. A feeling that something that's unsettled, restlessness because it could've been better, IF it went this way and so on... but why look back anymore and dwell in it. Let what's past be the past and move on... We learn from the mistake and apply it to someone different. I believe everyone are nice in their own way but if it doesn't suit you, then its not meant for you. The analogy? If you like the shoe but it doesn't fit you no matter what... What do you do? Try to wear it even though its tight or slightly loose? That's still acceptable but you feel the pain in the long run. BUT what if it just is too small or too big? You can't blame the shoe for being not your size isn't it? Just leave it, find another shoe that you love. You still love that shoe but you have to pick another one coz it doesn't fit. So does it mean that you're not gonna love your new shoe?
Another person also said that sometimes when you dearly love someone, it doesn't mean that you have to be with them. My reply was "so true... yet so sad but true". As the Chinese saying goes "Yau Yuen Mou Fan".
Back in the good ol' school days, love was simple. Boy loves girl, girl loves boy, boy tells girl, girl accepts boy, boy & girl giggles all the way... So that was it... The world of black and white. Grey? what is that?
When we grow, we learn that life's just not that simple. Yes, even when you love someone. Love isn't just loving a person anymore. Ideal relationship? There's no such thing if nobody works for it. Are we all that ethical in love? Just ask yourself and keep it to ourselves. There can never be a true black and white in feelings. So most often we end up dating a person we have the "it" factor most but still, we love the people around us.
When you've loved, or found love before... You will understand that it can never be a clear cut between you and your ex. This especially happens when the relationship ended mutually or when a person was asked to be parted. Even when if you were the person who initiated the break-up, you'd still care for the other person because you placed your heart and soul to the relationship before. However, the care and love is an entirely different feeling from those that are in a relationship. Unless, I'd dare say that your previous love isn't love at all but sheer infatuation, admiration and nothing else deeper than that, you will be able to fling your previous partner off just like that.
How bout Platonic relationships? Do you believe in them? I do ... Sometimes the opposite sex are just slightly more observant about oneself which really is comforting. Take your best friend, one whom you hang out a lot with, share secrets with, be together on every memorable moments with and replace it with a person of the opposite sex. It isn't that hard to imagine right? Well, the only problem or point of argument is, doesn't that sound like your girl/boyfriend already? So lets rewind again... close friend, does everything together... same sex... Does that mean I'm gay?
Its really a whole different kind of feeling between your friend and partner. I'd say I love my friend but its not the same type of love or affection that we shower to our partner. If you ask me, I'd put my partner in priority to my friend but then again, because they are my close friend, I'd do the extra mile for them too. I don't mind doing silly things or difficult tasks for my buddies, coz they are my close companion. If you wanna be jealous, just ask yourself how often do we do that for them when compared to our partner? Often jealously occur and heck I am one of them if my girlfriend ever had a close guy mate. Well, I am trying to be as understanding as much as I can but sometimes we're human after all. What's important is that we know our weaknesses and try to work it out. Then again, who am i to judge because I have close girl mates as well. If we chose that particular person, we gotta have a faith in them, our decision in choosing the right partner. After all, isn't relationships all about trust?
Alas, trust alone won't work and its not a black & white world we're living in. Tolerance & understanding is pretty much important in a relationship. Lets face it, we gotta give and take in a relationship. Before that, here's an equation love != relationship. In fact, I think it should be put as Relationship = Love + trust + tolerance + understanding + care. Love is only a part of the relationship so don't go whining "you don't love me anymore". Understand this too, before a relationship started, each and everyone had their own lives and there are things that are important to them.
Starting a relationship meant adding a new value to life and also making little sacrifices as well along the way. Simply put, that to gain anything in life, something must be given up. A person gives up some of the time with their family, time with their friends, time with etc and places it into a new slot called Love. While a person is wiling to give up certain things in life for you, there are certain things that they cannot give up for you. For that is what's unique about them and what makes them the way they are. One cannot just simply demand that they give up what's important to them and argue that he/she is less important. That would only be foolish for you are trying to take the person in whole. Think about it yourself. Doesn't everyone have a certain thing that is important to them? What if your partner ask you to drop them out? Are you willing to drop anything at all that your partner asks you to? This is where tolerance & understanding come in place. If you can't change something, you've just gotta learn to respect one's wish. Either deal with it or lose it. It doesn't mean that your partner doesn't love you or you are less important. It is something that's just on a different category of importance. Parents -Best Friend - Partner... How do you compare ??? Do you love your mother more than I do? Isn't just silly? They are equally important if you ask me.
You hear the term "white lies are ok". And why not? If a lie is for the better of a situation, wouldn't you tell it? Lies are bad but white lies... tell me who doesn't tell a little lie? I've told white lies... so tell me... you be the judge for those who've known me... am I wicked? Do I need to slapped with a huge "SAMAN!"?
Try not to cling to the word love as a reason for everything... its only a part of a relationship if you are ever looking for one. After all, love is only a feeling...
enerix: "No feeling is ever permanent. God created it that way so we don't have to suffer when we lose someone. The only way to prolong a feeling is that you renew it yourself..."
"No one is made a mind reader. While some might be observant, they will never be accurate all the time because people change along the way. God also intentionally made people not a mind reader... yeah, of coz it'd be good and convenient but say goodbye to freedom of privacy."
I give up... am very confused & disappointed.
-anti-social-
How does one weigh love and affection? Full commitment to oneself? Or how do you want to be loved? We yearn for any understanding partner but yet are we understanding at our end? Love isn't just about giving your all to a person. It involves great sacrifices, tolerance, patience and above all your unconditional care. I guess that is how you derive the "love is blind" statement. Loves becomes stupid when you hurt yourself too much. Or when you start to calculate too much or too little that he/she did then something is definitely wrong... So deal with it.
When a relationship ends, it usually leads to some sort of frustration. A feeling that something that's unsettled, restlessness because it could've been better, IF it went this way and so on... but why look back anymore and dwell in it. Let what's past be the past and move on... We learn from the mistake and apply it to someone different. I believe everyone are nice in their own way but if it doesn't suit you, then its not meant for you. The analogy? If you like the shoe but it doesn't fit you no matter what... What do you do? Try to wear it even though its tight or slightly loose? That's still acceptable but you feel the pain in the long run. BUT what if it just is too small or too big? You can't blame the shoe for being not your size isn't it? Just leave it, find another shoe that you love. You still love that shoe but you have to pick another one coz it doesn't fit. So does it mean that you're not gonna love your new shoe?
Another person also said that sometimes when you dearly love someone, it doesn't mean that you have to be with them. My reply was "so true... yet so sad but true". As the Chinese saying goes "Yau Yuen Mou Fan".
Back in the good ol' school days, love was simple. Boy loves girl, girl loves boy, boy tells girl, girl accepts boy, boy & girl giggles all the way... So that was it... The world of black and white. Grey? what is that?
When we grow, we learn that life's just not that simple. Yes, even when you love someone. Love isn't just loving a person anymore. Ideal relationship? There's no such thing if nobody works for it. Are we all that ethical in love? Just ask yourself and keep it to ourselves. There can never be a true black and white in feelings. So most often we end up dating a person we have the "it" factor most but still, we love the people around us.
When you've loved, or found love before... You will understand that it can never be a clear cut between you and your ex. This especially happens when the relationship ended mutually or when a person was asked to be parted. Even when if you were the person who initiated the break-up, you'd still care for the other person because you placed your heart and soul to the relationship before. However, the care and love is an entirely different feeling from those that are in a relationship. Unless, I'd dare say that your previous love isn't love at all but sheer infatuation, admiration and nothing else deeper than that, you will be able to fling your previous partner off just like that.
How bout Platonic relationships? Do you believe in them? I do ... Sometimes the opposite sex are just slightly more observant about oneself which really is comforting. Take your best friend, one whom you hang out a lot with, share secrets with, be together on every memorable moments with and replace it with a person of the opposite sex. It isn't that hard to imagine right? Well, the only problem or point of argument is, doesn't that sound like your girl/boyfriend already? So lets rewind again... close friend, does everything together... same sex... Does that mean I'm gay?
Its really a whole different kind of feeling between your friend and partner. I'd say I love my friend but its not the same type of love or affection that we shower to our partner. If you ask me, I'd put my partner in priority to my friend but then again, because they are my close friend, I'd do the extra mile for them too. I don't mind doing silly things or difficult tasks for my buddies, coz they are my close companion. If you wanna be jealous, just ask yourself how often do we do that for them when compared to our partner? Often jealously occur and heck I am one of them if my girlfriend ever had a close guy mate. Well, I am trying to be as understanding as much as I can but sometimes we're human after all. What's important is that we know our weaknesses and try to work it out. Then again, who am i to judge because I have close girl mates as well. If we chose that particular person, we gotta have a faith in them, our decision in choosing the right partner. After all, isn't relationships all about trust?
Alas, trust alone won't work and its not a black & white world we're living in. Tolerance & understanding is pretty much important in a relationship. Lets face it, we gotta give and take in a relationship. Before that, here's an equation love != relationship. In fact, I think it should be put as Relationship = Love + trust + tolerance + understanding + care. Love is only a part of the relationship so don't go whining "you don't love me anymore". Understand this too, before a relationship started, each and everyone had their own lives and there are things that are important to them.
Starting a relationship meant adding a new value to life and also making little sacrifices as well along the way. Simply put, that to gain anything in life, something must be given up. A person gives up some of the time with their family, time with their friends, time with etc and places it into a new slot called Love. While a person is wiling to give up certain things in life for you, there are certain things that they cannot give up for you. For that is what's unique about them and what makes them the way they are. One cannot just simply demand that they give up what's important to them and argue that he/she is less important. That would only be foolish for you are trying to take the person in whole. Think about it yourself. Doesn't everyone have a certain thing that is important to them? What if your partner ask you to drop them out? Are you willing to drop anything at all that your partner asks you to? This is where tolerance & understanding come in place. If you can't change something, you've just gotta learn to respect one's wish. Either deal with it or lose it. It doesn't mean that your partner doesn't love you or you are less important. It is something that's just on a different category of importance. Parents -Best Friend - Partner... How do you compare ??? Do you love your mother more than I do? Isn't just silly? They are equally important if you ask me.
You hear the term "white lies are ok". And why not? If a lie is for the better of a situation, wouldn't you tell it? Lies are bad but white lies... tell me who doesn't tell a little lie? I've told white lies... so tell me... you be the judge for those who've known me... am I wicked? Do I need to slapped with a huge "SAMAN!"?
Try not to cling to the word love as a reason for everything... its only a part of a relationship if you are ever looking for one. After all, love is only a feeling...
enerix: "No feeling is ever permanent. God created it that way so we don't have to suffer when we lose someone. The only way to prolong a feeling is that you renew it yourself..."
"No one is made a mind reader. While some might be observant, they will never be accurate all the time because people change along the way. God also intentionally made people not a mind reader... yeah, of coz it'd be good and convenient but say goodbye to freedom of privacy."
I give up... am very confused & disappointed.
-anti-social-
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