Its the time of year again, and to be exact... there goes another year!
Yup, this year definitely ended quickly and what a "POW" to the chapters of life. If I should write a book, this would be the most interesting of all; be it good or bad.
Reflecting on all the dreams and ambitions:
1) Why didn't I thought of Journalism? Authoring? Writing? English?
I hate to read! thats why... hahaha but who would have guessed that I love writing. Well I for one certainly didn't realize that :P
2) I should be a Lawyer!
While I don't like criminals or baddies (never liked any evil characters in life 'cept for Dungeon Keeper (tagline: evil is good...),
I sure do love solving crimes (lets face it... Puh-lease? they are official mafia of the country) and who doesn't love winning an
an argument? AND! you get highly paid for copy and pasting texts on documents. Also, not forgetting the facts... I enjoy
history, digesting facts and spitting it out all at once. (this should have been my dream job) Not forgetting... I get to sue you!
FOC!
Ah, as I am writing this piece of note... ideas, thoughts are flowing through my head, bursting out to be written but with my aging head... I just can't recall what I wanted to write while trying to sequence out my paragraphs... Damn it!
ok... i need to put this "TO BE CONTINUED... I am definitely getting old... Am suddenly feeling very sleepy...
Good nights! zzzzzzZZZZZzzzz....
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Friday, August 07, 2009
The longest second, minute, hour, day, week.
Its been a while and my post still seemed to be gray, gloomy. Not too dark, and yet not too bright either.
Decisions, decisions... life is full of them. Some which I am glad that I made them, some not so proud and some just takes a little bit of time to digest.
I wonder what is it like to live in other people's shoes? Seeing things from a different aspect altogether. It would be cool, perhaps... hmmm... nah... no answer for that one.
Today, is definitely one of the longest time in my life. So much can happen in a split second which will change our lives forever. One call, one missed call, anything at all...
Its never easy, it never was, and never will be for a person like me. What I am like? thats something I don't know now that I'm here at this age. What I am sure is that it is not an easy day after all... Sometimes we do things we aren't proud of, sometimes we do things that are out of our control and sometimes we make decisions that we do not enjoy at all.
But hey, you there... yes.. you kid, thats life. Recalling a phrase that goes by "God doesn't give you what you want, but what you need". I'm not trying to be religious but put a thought in it, its true; the underlying msg. While it may not be nice, it might be what's best for us. Life's not a constant... you'd never know.
If we met in another time, things would be different... time will tell.
I'll still care...
Decisions, decisions... life is full of them. Some which I am glad that I made them, some not so proud and some just takes a little bit of time to digest.
I wonder what is it like to live in other people's shoes? Seeing things from a different aspect altogether. It would be cool, perhaps... hmmm... nah... no answer for that one.
Today, is definitely one of the longest time in my life. So much can happen in a split second which will change our lives forever. One call, one missed call, anything at all...
Its never easy, it never was, and never will be for a person like me. What I am like? thats something I don't know now that I'm here at this age. What I am sure is that it is not an easy day after all... Sometimes we do things we aren't proud of, sometimes we do things that are out of our control and sometimes we make decisions that we do not enjoy at all.
But hey, you there... yes.. you kid, thats life. Recalling a phrase that goes by "God doesn't give you what you want, but what you need". I'm not trying to be religious but put a thought in it, its true; the underlying msg. While it may not be nice, it might be what's best for us. Life's not a constant... you'd never know.
If we met in another time, things would be different... time will tell.
I'll still care...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
#ping 127.1.1.1
Its great to be back. I'm back. Almost.
Odd... why do i seem to get unknown followers on the blog? hmmm...
Odd... why do i seem to get unknown followers on the blog? hmmm...
Saturday, May 09, 2009
A dream unfulfilled is but a curse
Funny how I get inspirations, from an old TV show... and this show is none other than Kamen Rider 555! Who says kids show aren't educational? Well, it isn't really much of a kids show with all the killing scenes.
This story happens to go like this: a born musical genius which got his hands crippled in an accident and could no longer play the guitar. He vents his frustration by being a rebel and doing things to disturb those who plays music.
When he finally came to his senses, he spoke of these words... "a dream unfulfilled is like a curse". So much is true, knowing that the thing you love to do and long for could no longer be achieved. Having to give up unwillingly is painful and forever haunting... wanting something that cannot be done is a painful burden that one can bear in life.
Of course, he finally let go of his unfulfilled dream and moved on but its rather sad anyhow. So the question was, should we even had a dream? Quite philosophical don't you think so? How great are kids show these days... I find it quite intriguing and made me ponder for a while... Indeed, true enough of what was said if you've been through it before...
We grow up in such circumstances, making us stronger... yet it makes us much more difficult to be pleased and believing as well. While you or I complaint about how difficult life can be... is it really that tough? We are the ones that complicate things around us.
You hear that remarks such as... "grow up" or even "you're not a kid anymore" or "that's reality". We toughen up, we learn to be wiser, learn to be... suspicious? why? coz people become more and more deceitful. Have we all forgotten the old times? our younger days? where words meant gold and promises are promises? Grow up you say? isn't that what we stride for?
Funny again on how we see things... and say its impossible yet we forgotten that it happened once upon a time when life was much simpler. If we can all reach for the child within us... I'm not being a kid or haven't grown up... That, my friend is how life would & could be if we are more honest beings in life. Its because the world is harsh, that we need hope... but because everyone "learns" that everyone is mean to everybody.
So yes... it indeed is painful having bad memories, even good ones... because once you lose your dreams... it will haunt you forever. If you ever are one of them, be strong and build your new dream. If you've never encountered a broken dream, I pray you never will... its not easy...
This story happens to go like this: a born musical genius which got his hands crippled in an accident and could no longer play the guitar. He vents his frustration by being a rebel and doing things to disturb those who plays music.
When he finally came to his senses, he spoke of these words... "a dream unfulfilled is like a curse". So much is true, knowing that the thing you love to do and long for could no longer be achieved. Having to give up unwillingly is painful and forever haunting... wanting something that cannot be done is a painful burden that one can bear in life.
Of course, he finally let go of his unfulfilled dream and moved on but its rather sad anyhow. So the question was, should we even had a dream? Quite philosophical don't you think so? How great are kids show these days... I find it quite intriguing and made me ponder for a while... Indeed, true enough of what was said if you've been through it before...
We grow up in such circumstances, making us stronger... yet it makes us much more difficult to be pleased and believing as well. While you or I complaint about how difficult life can be... is it really that tough? We are the ones that complicate things around us.
You hear that remarks such as... "grow up" or even "you're not a kid anymore" or "that's reality". We toughen up, we learn to be wiser, learn to be... suspicious? why? coz people become more and more deceitful. Have we all forgotten the old times? our younger days? where words meant gold and promises are promises? Grow up you say? isn't that what we stride for?
Funny again on how we see things... and say its impossible yet we forgotten that it happened once upon a time when life was much simpler. If we can all reach for the child within us... I'm not being a kid or haven't grown up... That, my friend is how life would & could be if we are more honest beings in life. Its because the world is harsh, that we need hope... but because everyone "learns" that everyone is mean to everybody.
So yes... it indeed is painful having bad memories, even good ones... because once you lose your dreams... it will haunt you forever. If you ever are one of them, be strong and build your new dream. If you've never encountered a broken dream, I pray you never will... its not easy...
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Coming out of the closet.
If ppl could only be a little honest about themselves...
Then there'd be no beating around the bush...
No missing chances...
No regrets...
Why wait for others... pursue your own destiny.
Then there'd be no beating around the bush...
No missing chances...
No regrets...
Why wait for others... pursue your own destiny.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Reiterated. Revisited
When are we gonna have another K session... I want those shit...
Just have a little, patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop
Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don’t be too hard on my emotions
Cause I, need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience
I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend
I'll try to be strong, believe me
I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me
Cause I, need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience, yeah
Have a little patience, yeah
Cause these scars runs so deep
It’s been hard
But I have to believe in me
Have a little patience
Have a little patience
Cause I, I just need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try, and have a little patience
Have a little patience
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little... Patience
Just have a little, patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop
Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don’t be too hard on my emotions
Cause I, need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience
I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend
I'll try to be strong, believe me
I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me
Cause I, need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience, yeah
Have a little patience, yeah
Cause these scars runs so deep
It’s been hard
But I have to believe in me
Have a little patience
Have a little patience
Cause I, I just need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try, and have a little patience
Have a little patience
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little... Patience
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Here I go...
Here I go~ Scream my lungs out trying to get to you... bla bla bla
OK! that was lyrics... back to the usual post, or not so usual...
All is forgiven...
All is forgotten...
While some remain clueless...
It will not be hopeless...
I am...
Reborn.
OK! that was lyrics... back to the usual post, or not so usual...
All is forgiven...
All is forgotten...
While some remain clueless...
It will not be hopeless...
I am...
Reborn.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Thought of the day...
Once bitten, twice shy...
I stopped believing in fairy tales the day you walk away.
Period.
I stopped believing in fairy tales the day you walk away.
Period.
Save me!
Break the chain,
the ties that bind.
Release from pain,
my heart unwind.
Somebody save me!
Unlock my riddle.
To be or not to be!
I'm stuck in the middle.
the ties that bind.
Release from pain,
my heart unwind.
Somebody save me!
Unlock my riddle.
To be or not to be!
I'm stuck in the middle.
I'm sorry, I can't forgive you just yet...
I'm sorry, I can't forgive you just yet... I'm not ready.
Friday, January 23, 2009
I'm no superman...
Have you ever wished that you could read ones’ mind? Wanted to know everything that is curious to you? It certainly does sounds great aint it? Being able to prepare for any questions, predict what to say next just to get on the good side of everyone you wanted. Life would be so easy then, when you can talk yourself out from almost anything.
That is if , you wanted to know. What about those things that you don’t wanna hear? Things that you don’t wanna know? Knowledge is power! However, can you really take it all inside your tiny little mind? Reality bites, truth hurts and etc... those sayings are already common enough for anyone to understand.
Its a gift, its a curse... for being there... for hearing things and for knowing things. Its not truly easy bearing the responsibility of listening. Sometimes you know too much... yet you are only entrusted to hold on to it, and nothing else. That would be easy for a diary, a dead being.
Being on the outside, the sidelines... no one has a clearer picture that anyone inside the game. While there are many rules, experiences that can only be felt in it, no one would have been able to make a fair judgement. After all, we are all human and emotions would play a big part in killing us all.
Advice, are a form of assurance and nothing else. They are just plain speeches that deep down inside everyone of us know and yet we ignore them. We usually only listen to advices that sounds comfortable to us and most likely... its what you wanted to hear all along. Assurance from someone else’s mouth that your decision is correct. We will be constantly seeking for advice, till someone agrees with us.
While you can tell a kid what to do, define whats’ right or wrong, you can never do that to an adult. Sometimes it really hurts so much, to see someone you care stepping into deep shits and yet there’s nothing you can do about it. Its not like they don’t know what’s bad... they are old enough to make their own decisions... and this hurts alot when they hurt themselves... knowingly, intentionally or couldn’t get their heads right anymore...
What if you knew too... if something isn’t right and you know you could do something about it... but because you are just not... the person... to speak it out... Who are we to mess with someone else’s affairs? I just hate being so... defenceless...
If that’s what you want... then so be it... All we could do is to be always around... and with open arms to catch you when you fall... Which is something... I wish not to see come to reality... for it will mean that people will get hurt... and let it not be you...
That is if , you wanted to know. What about those things that you don’t wanna hear? Things that you don’t wanna know? Knowledge is power! However, can you really take it all inside your tiny little mind? Reality bites, truth hurts and etc... those sayings are already common enough for anyone to understand.
Its a gift, its a curse... for being there... for hearing things and for knowing things. Its not truly easy bearing the responsibility of listening. Sometimes you know too much... yet you are only entrusted to hold on to it, and nothing else. That would be easy for a diary, a dead being.
Being on the outside, the sidelines... no one has a clearer picture that anyone inside the game. While there are many rules, experiences that can only be felt in it, no one would have been able to make a fair judgement. After all, we are all human and emotions would play a big part in killing us all.
Advice, are a form of assurance and nothing else. They are just plain speeches that deep down inside everyone of us know and yet we ignore them. We usually only listen to advices that sounds comfortable to us and most likely... its what you wanted to hear all along. Assurance from someone else’s mouth that your decision is correct. We will be constantly seeking for advice, till someone agrees with us.
While you can tell a kid what to do, define whats’ right or wrong, you can never do that to an adult. Sometimes it really hurts so much, to see someone you care stepping into deep shits and yet there’s nothing you can do about it. Its not like they don’t know what’s bad... they are old enough to make their own decisions... and this hurts alot when they hurt themselves... knowingly, intentionally or couldn’t get their heads right anymore...
What if you knew too... if something isn’t right and you know you could do something about it... but because you are just not... the person... to speak it out... Who are we to mess with someone else’s affairs? I just hate being so... defenceless...
If that’s what you want... then so be it... All we could do is to be always around... and with open arms to catch you when you fall... Which is something... I wish not to see come to reality... for it will mean that people will get hurt... and let it not be you...
Monday, January 19, 2009
Patience
Just have a little, patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop
Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don’t be too hard on my emotions
Cause I, need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience
I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend
I'll try to be strong, believe me
I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me
Cause I, need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience, yeah
Have a little patience, yeah
Cause these scars runs so deep
It’s been hard
But I have to believe in me
Have a little patience
Have a little patience
Cause I, I just need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try, and have a little patience
Have a little patience
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little... Patience
I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I'm feeling your frustration
Any minute all the pain will stop
Just hold me close inside your arms tonight
Don’t be too hard on my emotions
Cause I, need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience
I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
The one that I can always depend
I'll try to be strong, believe me
I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me
Cause I, need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try and have a little patience, yeah
Have a little patience, yeah
Cause these scars runs so deep
It’s been hard
But I have to believe in me
Have a little patience
Have a little patience
Cause I, I just need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I’m still healing
Just try, and have a little patience
Have a little patience
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing
Just try and have a little... Patience
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Will
Life is great! but life is short... Too short as compared to an eternity outside of life.
I had a recent scare in my family. One of my members was actually diagnosed with er... well something but thank God... it was just a scare after all. It is in times like these when we really start to wake up and smell the coffee.
A.P.P.R.E.C.I.A.T.E!
Appreciate everyone around you, your family, your relatives, your loved ones. I remembered when I always say that I am not appreciated and bla bla bla... But now I know too, that I have been neglecting my family a little... or alot...
They're my family, always there, never given up hope on me. Probably, because they are always there, we or... I never paid too much attention to things at home, because they were always there. I'm sorry, I lost my way... I lost the person that I once promised to be and I'm picking up the trail once again.
It is a little tricky though... How could you miss something that's always around you? Still, it isn't an excuse to forget... or be ignorant. And so I learnt... I think happiness is always around us, just that we fail to see it as happiness. You have someone nagging you, reminding you daily of your things, asking you for insane favours and waking you up at ridiculous early hours on the weekends... Though it all sounds so... simple, routine and damn annoying... what if, just what if it were all taken away?
We thrive for excitement, new adventures, bla bla bla, yada yada yada... but is that what you really want by days end? For me at least, I want a home to return to, a familiar face I can talk to, whine to, laugh with, cry with and share whatever piece of myself I can with the ones really care about. Most of all, I want to be someone dependable to my family & friends.
What am I swaying to right now...
I guess what I am saying is...
I'm sorry grandpa, my biggest regret was for not knowing you well enough before you moved on.. and I love you too...
I love you grandma, for giving me the best childhood memories... Its time for me to repay you now that I'm all grown up.
I love you Dad, though I always disagree with you...
I love you Mom, though I seemed to be always drifting away...
I love you Sis 1, for your honest tales & lesson and being my "half nagging mom"...
I love you Sis 2, though we fought through our childhood...
I love you bro, though you really annoy me sometimes but as the saying goes... " he ain't heavy, he's my brother"
All my bro-in-arms, my bff's, my friends, Thanks for the memories...
lastly...
Dear,
After the scare of the week... it reminded me of many things, of how fragile are our lives. Yes, we plan and aim for great things... and yet we limit ourselves to a lot of things. I certainly wouldn't think of how important is my insurance policy until now and certainly not think that shit does happen to anyone without warning. Life sucks ain't it? When it comes to things like this! but looking at the bright side... it is at times like this we are honestly reminded of whats important in our lives. I might not know what's gonna happen next... and when shit does really happen to me... So while I'm still alive, kicking, before I really *poof!* out of sight for good...
I love you... always have, and always will... for as long as I am around...
I had a recent scare in my family. One of my members was actually diagnosed with er... well something but thank God... it was just a scare after all. It is in times like these when we really start to wake up and smell the coffee.
A.P.P.R.E.C.I.A.T.E!
Appreciate everyone around you, your family, your relatives, your loved ones. I remembered when I always say that I am not appreciated and bla bla bla... But now I know too, that I have been neglecting my family a little... or alot...
They're my family, always there, never given up hope on me. Probably, because they are always there, we or... I never paid too much attention to things at home, because they were always there. I'm sorry, I lost my way... I lost the person that I once promised to be and I'm picking up the trail once again.
It is a little tricky though... How could you miss something that's always around you? Still, it isn't an excuse to forget... or be ignorant. And so I learnt... I think happiness is always around us, just that we fail to see it as happiness. You have someone nagging you, reminding you daily of your things, asking you for insane favours and waking you up at ridiculous early hours on the weekends... Though it all sounds so... simple, routine and damn annoying... what if, just what if it were all taken away?
We thrive for excitement, new adventures, bla bla bla, yada yada yada... but is that what you really want by days end? For me at least, I want a home to return to, a familiar face I can talk to, whine to, laugh with, cry with and share whatever piece of myself I can with the ones really care about. Most of all, I want to be someone dependable to my family & friends.
What am I swaying to right now...
I guess what I am saying is...
I'm sorry grandpa, my biggest regret was for not knowing you well enough before you moved on.. and I love you too...
I love you grandma, for giving me the best childhood memories... Its time for me to repay you now that I'm all grown up.
I love you Dad, though I always disagree with you...
I love you Mom, though I seemed to be always drifting away...
I love you Sis 1, for your honest tales & lesson and being my "half nagging mom"...
I love you Sis 2, though we fought through our childhood...
I love you bro, though you really annoy me sometimes but as the saying goes... " he ain't heavy, he's my brother"
All my bro-in-arms, my bff's, my friends, Thanks for the memories...
lastly...
Dear,
After the scare of the week... it reminded me of many things, of how fragile are our lives. Yes, we plan and aim for great things... and yet we limit ourselves to a lot of things. I certainly wouldn't think of how important is my insurance policy until now and certainly not think that shit does happen to anyone without warning. Life sucks ain't it? When it comes to things like this! but looking at the bright side... it is at times like this we are honestly reminded of whats important in our lives. I might not know what's gonna happen next... and when shit does really happen to me... So while I'm still alive, kicking, before I really *poof!* out of sight for good...
I love you... always have, and always will... for as long as I am around...
Friday, January 09, 2009
I can be mean...
Just because someone seemed to be behaving a certain way all the time, doesn't really mean he won't be the otherwise...
Beware... I bite...
HARD.
Beware... I bite...
HARD.
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